R.I.P. Mom, You Weren’t There
When I was a little girl, you made me warm chocolate milk every day, kissed my boo boos and wiped my tears. You dressed me, rocked me and sang me to sleep at night.
You taught me how to count to ten, color between the lines and share with my friends. You taught me right from wrong, the importance of faith and helping others.
You taught me how to ride a bike, sew a button, bake a cake, and weather unkind words from others.
You taught me to save money and how to spend it wisely. You were proud when I received my driver’s license on the first try, got my first job and graduated from high school. You encouraged me to go to college, to strive for more and that hard work pays off in the end.
You raised me, nurtured me and shaped the woman, mother and wife I’ve become today. You showed me how to be strong, resilient and empowered me to be independent.
Then, you died without warning. You were taken from me at age 18 and I don’t know why. I just know the pain I’ve felt for many years since. I’ve lived more years without you in my life, than with you and it hurts!
At times, it feels as though a small part of me died along with you. Sometimes I won’t allow myself to even think about you because I don’t want to relive the pain of missing you, to make the reality easier to bare.
You weren’t there during either of my college graduation ceremonies. I looked for you in the crowd and only saw the other proud parents cheering on their children. I couldn’t see the look on your face to watch your only child receive her college diploma with years of adversity.
You weren’t there when I landed my first professional job or when I received my first promotion.
You weren’t there when I bought my first house and my first car. I didn’t get your advice.
You weren’t there on my wedding day to kiss me on the cheek and tell me I looked beautiful .
You weren’t there the days each of our boys were born. I couldn’t see the happiness in your eyes to meet your beautiful grandsons. I can’t help but, think part of you lives on in my children. They don’t know you.
You weren’t there to see the woman I’ve become because of your influence.
Grateful for the Years We Had
I can only imagine you being there and hoping you were in spirit.
I am grateful you made sacrifices to give me a better life.
I am grateful for the unconditional love you gave me. A mother’s love is irreplaceable.
I am grateful for the 18 years I knew you. I’m honored you raised me. I forgive you for the mistakes you made and I am sorry for my own.
I am grateful you taught me how to be independent, think for myself and survive in this tough world without you.
You see mom, now that I have two children of my own, I know just how much you loved me. I am eternally grateful for the love you gave me and how you shaped the strong woman I am today. Every day that passes, I miss you more and am even more grateful to have known you.
Rest in Peace, Till We Meet Again
Your beloved daughter,