Our boys, David who is now 4 and Daniel who is almost 3, are quite a handful. I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant with Daniel but, I had no idea how my life was going to be transformed. Having my first toddler took getting used to but, having a new born and a 17 month old posed quite the challenge for a new mom, especially one that was child free for a very long time. I had always wanted kids but, the problem was, I had no experience watching kids and I didn’t even have siblings growing up so, I never even had to look after younger siblings. I found out, nothing can really prepare you to become a parent because watching other peoples’ kids and having your own are not remotely the same thing.
The immense joy I felt when both of my sons were born is not compared to any feelings I’ve experienced in life. It really was love at first sight (although I loved them while they were still in my belly.) The excitement was really incredible.But, there are many things mothers feel guilty about admitting because they don’t want to sound like they don’t feel blessed to have children or that they don’t appreciate them. Being a parent is really hard and being a mom is especially hard because of mommy guilt and the extreme dependence the children have on mom. And if the mother is the primary caregiver, as are most mothers, and a stay-at-home mom, there could be even more dependence.
So, the cute babies became two toddlers in what seemed to happen overnight. There had to be one solid year of one of my boys being in the terrible twos, which happens before they turn two, and the other one being in terrible threes. I was, and still am, stalked and harassed but, it was really tough for a long time and I’m not embarrassed to say that because many of the moms, if not all, I confide in with similar aged kids, say the same thing. So if you feel stalked and harassed, it is completely normal and it does subside at some point. Just try to be patient and understand their brains are forming and they need to know you are nearby for emotional support. Hearing the trials of other mothers goes a long way when you are raising your own. So, don’t be hard on yourself if you feel you can’t handle it as we’ve all been there before.