I really, really wanted a girl. Just one girl so, I could go shopping with her and we could get pedicures together and be best buddies. Little did I know my destiny was to be a mom of boys. Not just one boy but, two bouncing baby boys. At the birth of our second child, the doctor announced it was a boy and I really wanted to ask if there was a girl behind him that I hadn’t pushed out yet. 11 Things Only Moms of Boys Would Understand outlines the joys (just a little sarcasm here) of being a mom of boys.
Some of it may sound scary but, you learn to appreciate all of the fun that goes along with muddy shoes, farting, unrelenting energy and adorable little faces that light up your life!
From the time I decided to become a sahm, my life is forever changed. Our sons ages are 4 and 6 and they’re 17 months apart. My husband would joke about not having a third child because he was afraid we’d have twin boys and end up with four boys! As crazy as it sounds, I’d be o.k. with it, now that our boys broke us in.
Needless to say, I had to adapt to this new lifestyle of being the only girl in the house. Call me the Queen Bee! I went fishing with them and even touched a dead worm. You know I wasn’t going to touch a live worm. Ewww!
11 Things Only Moms of Boys Would Understand
Mom is Their First Love!
Boys love their mommies with every fiber of their being. They kiss you and hug you at times like they just can’t get enough. My younger son kisses me and caresses my hair in a way that makes my husband wonder if he’d been watching soap operas. I just melt! I loved every second of this attention from my boys and soak it up like a sponge.
All of this affection is what helped get me through transitioning from my career to stay-at-home mom. Affection and dimples and smiles remind me how lucky I am.
Poop is so fascinating!
Boys love any topics relating to poop. They like saying “poop” and “poopy” and they like calling each other “poopy head.” They think the sounds of farts are hilarious and don’t mind saying “excuse me” just so they can do it again.
While girls are dressing up in their pink princess dresses, painting their little finger nails, boys are laughing at each other farting like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. It never gets old…never.
Boys Have Boundless Energy
They seem to always be moving, climbing, karate chopping, swinging, jumping, screaming, laughing, pushing, hitting, etc. You get the picture. Honestly, zoos are more tamed. You’ll wonder if you have a barrel of monkeys. Bouncing off the walls really isn’t a too far stretch sometimes.
Bumps and bruises are just par for the course.
Boys will turn a family room into a wrestling ring. The cushions come off the couch and line the floors. They begin to leap from from cushion-to-cushion. They stand on top of the couch and yell “cannon ball” while jumping off onto the cushions!
Meanwhile, you’re waiting for Vince McMahon to come out with a microphone to introduce the light weight contenders. You’ll want to have your ice packs ready for the first injury. Get those Band-Aids ready! They enjoy hitting each other. Sometimes it’s for fun and sometimes it’s with serious, teeth gritting, anger because one took the other one’s Batman action figure or knocked down his Lego creation.
You Don’t Need to Buy Jeans with Holes in Them!
Boys will play on the floor anywhere. Their pants will be so worn in the knees that eventually, they become holes and if you continue letting them wear the jeans with a small hole, it becomes bigger and bigger until they begin to look like shorts and feel a cold breeze in their knees.
You may not even be able to pass down pants. Plan on buying a lot of jeans. I cut jeans and pants with holes into shorts to extend their life. They’re rough on all of their clothes. You’ll do a lot of wash.
They’ll Get Dirty Without Trying
Puddles must be there for the sole reason of jumping into. I mean, why else would a puddle of water or mud just be sitting there? Once, you get into the puddle, now the real fun has begun. Let’s see how being in the puddle is different than jumping into it. But, don’t think they won’t complain that they’re feet are wet when they’re done.
They like getting their hands, and everything else, dirty. The picture below is what happens at the intersection of of a curious toddler and a can of tar while dad is “watching him” in the garage.
You Will Learn About Every Super Hero That Ever Existed
I’m not just talking about the Justice League here. Your kids will seek and find super heroes you never heard of. They NEED the pajamas, underwear, masks, costumes, sippy cups, baseball hats, etc. There’s a reason why manufacturers make super hero products for everything. There’s a market for it.
They love dressing up in their favorite super hero costumes, jumping off the couch, running and saving the day. I’ll miss this when they grow up.
Lysol Disinfecting Wipes will become your best friend. Stock up! I keep mine right in the bathroom. As many times as you tell your boys to aim in the toilette, they find ways to miss. It splatters on walls and floors. You clean it up and it still smells like pee.
The seat is left up, although my boys have been pretty good about putting it down, or they don’t flush. They pee with the bathroom door open. You constantly have to remind them to wash their hands which, can’t possibly be done in 3 seconds!
Clothes are Optional
Boys think it’s funny to take off nearly all of their clothes, and is some cases even their super hero briefs, to run around the house naked. Of course when one boy does it, the other immediately follows. When you ask them why they have no pants on or why they’re half naked, they giggle and run away. I’m afraid I may have a streaker on my hands.
Or maybe one little boy just wants to do some gardening without clothes?
The O Mighty Weiner
Once they find their penis when they’re still a baby, they will forever be fond of it. Pulling it, touching, it, making it grow, is something that seems never ending. It’s just one of those things women just can’t understand I suppose.
I don’t know how many times I told him to “stop touching because it’ll fall off and then how are you going to pee?” with a straight, serious-looking face.
They Can Eat A Lot
My first born son ate a lot while he was still in the womb. I remember NEEDING food and not just food, carbs! His hunger explains my pregnancy gain quite well. At 1.5 yrs old he could put away two big bowls of fruit! This boy, at five years old, could eat three slices of a large pizza plus French Fries. One night he ate a hot dog on a roll, two helpings of green beans, a roll, and TWO pork chops! Wow!
All that boundless energy makes them hungry. I had to learn how to save money on meat and produce quickly. You will feel like you need to take a second mortgage to pay for your groceries once they become teens!
Sometimes on bad days, I feel like I’m being cursed or penalized being a mother but, then I remind myself that they’re just normal little boys. The hugs, kisses, and cute little faces make up for all the rest. Being uptight just makes your days anxious and stressful. It’s a lot more fun to be a mom of boys when you understand what to expect and go along for the fun ride!